Friday, July 27, 2012

"He Can Get It!!! Really Can He, That Easy?"

I often hear the phrase “He can get it” but really can it be that easy? Now I understand women use it when they are referring to a very attractive guy in jest but do you really mean it? I’ve never been much of a fan of that saying. It just rubs me the wrong way. What are you really giving away?  I hear some women use it as if they’re giving away old Halloween candy or too small or outdated clothes to the Goodwill. Is that really how you view yourself?

Are you really willing to give it up just because a brother looks easy on the eyes?
Please don’t get me wrong, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t love gazing upon one of God’s most beautiful creations, Man. Especially when he’s been blessed with good looking features. I too can truly appreciate a nice looking man with the best of them. And if the truth would be told there have even been a few occasions where I’ve caught myself wondering off in la la land thinking how beautiful our black ashy babies would be living in our house with the white picketed fence. But I quickly jump back into reality and catch myself before my mind begins to take me somewhere it has no business going.

The saying rubs me the wrong way because in my humble opinion it cheapens who we are as women. It cheapens our existence. It cheapens not only the person spewing the venom but it cheapens all of us because one woman represents each and every last one of us. That horrid phrase even cheapens our daughters, our granddaughters, our nieces and other young women that are to come after us.  I think some of our ancestors are looking down at us hiding their heads in shame at some of the phrases we’ve adopted. I’m sure there are plenty of them that are rolling in their graves in fury at all the blood, sweat and tears they spent fighting and even dying for respect from others only for us to turn around and boldly and proudly disrespect our  selves.   

Although the saying is often spoken amongst girlfriends in gesture, we still put out into the atmosphere. Our words have so much power that once it’s released from our mouths, those very words work their way into full manifestation. I’m often left scratching my head and yet baffled at the same time when I hear women throwing out that saying so loosely but in the same vein will raise a fist and demand a man’s respect. Really, are you serious and is it even possible?

I haven’t heard too many other races use that term so much as the black community has. It’s no wonder that the statics of teenaged pregnancy, unwed homes, less likely to marry, single mothers, HIV and AIDS amongst the African American community are through the roof.

However just as soon as you give it away you have the nerve to sit crying, feeling disrespected, confused, used and wondering why he didn’t stay. Not only did he not stay, he didn’t call, didn’t send a text, a telegram, a letter, an email, or even a pigeon. He didn’t do a thing.  He didn’t take you out for nice hot meal; he didn’t even pay you a compliment. That brother left with the quickness, never to return again and if he does it’s only to return to the very “thing” he was first introduced to and that’s what you so easily gave away.  

I caution us to be careful about the words we speak. If we want the respect of a man, we have to be willing to respect ourselves, our bodies, our precious jewels and even respect what proceeds out of our mouths. Stop being so willing to give it away. We’re priceless. It should no longer be so easy for him to just “get it” but rather “Naw brother you’ve got to earn it”. Why he may ask and your answer will be because you said so.

What do you think of the saying "He can get It"? Please share your thoughts.

1 comment:

  1. I had to really think about this prior to replying. I think that, though many women say “He can get it” in jest they also, truly, embody that type of mindset. It turns into more than a lack of respect for oneself when every Joe Schmoe can indulge in a woman’s body, it turns into a manifestation of self-hatred (which is taught through the actions of those around a girl as she develops into a young woman). I do not think many women who really value themselves use this phrase (or at least not often); maybe they say something else like “Oh, he’s really attractive/cute/fine/handsome” but “He can get it” does tend to imply that a woman’s sex is lacking in value and that it is something to hand out, like candy on Halloween. I’ll be honest and admit to using the phrase and at the same time I’ll say that as soon as I think it I also think ‘ah no he can’t’ since, for me, it takes significantly more than good looks to get into the door let alone get me to 'give' anything to a man.