Monday, October 3, 2011

How to Turn Your Online Profile into a Unique Advertisement

There are so many dating sites and so many singles online – how can you stand out?  Think about business branding as a concept.  Branding serves 4 functions:
1 – to help the customer remember the product
2 – to convey a complex message quickly
3 – to help the customer distinguish your product from a similar product
4 – to create positive appeal to entice someone to BUY the product
If you are on an online dating site, YOU are the product!
Why should someone be interested in you?  You are a fabulous person, but how can you demonstration how wonderful you are across a computer screen in the brief time someone of the opposite sex scans a profile? 
It’s hard to do and many singles are frustrated with their profiles AND those they read.
Make yours stand out!  Here is how.
FIRST - Come up with a dazzling screen/user name and headline.  Don’t rush to do this.  It may take a few days to come up with a great one.  You must think of adjectives that describe you.  Ask a friend to help.
Take out a sheet of paper and make three columns.  In Column 1 write PHYSICAL TRAITS.  In Column 2 label it PERSONALITY TRAITS.  In Column 3 write OTHER.
In the column for PHYSICAL, write down all the adjectives and phrases that describe your appearance.  Examples of this section would have things like tall, curvy, thin, blonde, voluptuous, fit, elegant, Asian (White, Black, Latino, etc.), great teeth, wavy hair.  Keep writing until you have an extensive list about your look, including how you dress (i.e. casual, elegant, preppy).
In the PERSONALITY column, write down adjectives that describe how you act and feel.  For example, write down things like shy, feisty, sassy, low-maintenance, honest, witty, sarcastic.  
In the column marked OTHER, put everything else there is about you down on paper, such as religion, birthplace, profession, sports or talents and other things.  This section will have words like Christian, skier, Redskins fan, Ohio Native, single mom, chess champion, reality show junkie, etc.
Be honest.  You can write down negative things about you as well.  The goal is to have a long list of things that describe you.
You should even use the thesaurus function in MS WORD to see how to describe some of the words in a different way, i.e. tall can become statuesque.
Now comes the fun part!  Pick THREE words (one from each column) that feel the best to you and are an accurate reflection of you.
One of my male clients did this exercise and he chose “Witty Boston Chef” and used it as his headline on his profile. 
Try a few combinations and see what feels right.
SECOND – Write an interesting Body of your profile
Your profile is not a time to talk about what you won’t tolerate in a relationship or what happened in your past.  Your profile is where you establish your PRODUCT/BRAND that will make the reader want to know more.  You should be brief, be positive, and be unique.  You ARE unique.  There is no one else exactly like you and that is what you want to come across. 
It is ok to look at other profiles before you do the body of yours to see what other men and women are saying.  Which ones interest you?  Why?  How are those different from the boring ones?
Remember to focus on what makes you unique while you are writing.  Use the words and phrases from your columns to talk about who you are.  Interests and hobbies will sound more unique when you divulge a few more details about them.  If you expound on WHY you do or like something, you are providing a little more insight to what makes you YOU.
For instance, instead of writing “I enjoy reading fiction, running, and playing card games” write something like “I am a huge fan of John Grisham because I love criminal law and psychological thrillers.”  Just that little bit of extra information makes reading your profile more interesting and not so generic.  Lots of people list reading as a hobby.  But why?  And what?  Think about why you do something or how you got started in it or add a funny or interesting fact about your hobby.
But don’t get long-winded.  Remember singles are looking at hundreds of profiles and only spend about five seconds reading before their mind is ready to move on to something else unless it really grabs them.
THIRD – have a trusted friend look over your profile and give you feedback.  It really helps if it is an opposite sex friend giving the feedback.  I, as a relationship coach, work with singles on their profiles, so I can help you as well.  You can contact me if you are interested in my services for online dating help.  You can also order my audio class called “Love on the Net” for more tips on succeeding at online dating.
Happy Dating!

Kiki Strickland is a matchmaker and certified relationship coach for singles. She is affiliated with the Matchmaking Institute, Coaches Institute International, and RCI, The Relationship Coaching Institute. She has been matchmaking and working with singles since 2006.  Visit for more information.

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