Monday, June 20, 2011

Meet Rodney Bellamy

Age Range: 45
Marital Status: Single & Divorced

Tell us a little bit about yourself:
I’m the father of a maturing son & daughter; and a grandfather. I cherish and value how we define relationships. Relationships are key in my personal and professional life – I work as an HR Employee Labor Relations Manager; as as a Consultant, Mediator & Arbitrator. My spiritual foundation is based on scripture: “Give your servant an understanding heart to discern your people”. My personal foundation is based on “I’m not complicated, just complex.”

What are your personal philosophies, attitudes and/or beliefs on (the):

The Importance of Fathers in the Household:
It’s important to have both parents in a household. The balance that children receive, in their nurturing/raising, comes BEST when they benefit from diverse perspectives taught in unison. When there’s a parent, not involved in the nurturing, it’s more challenging on the remaining parent (though not impossible) to teach, coach, mentor, & counsel. Fathers are expected to provide the paternal leadership qualities, strength, and sternness in loving family. In their absence, mothers have to “step in” to a more masculine role. Sometimes mothers struggle with that role, not comfortable (though required) with balancing their traditional maternal nurturing role, with the expected traditional fraternal guidance and direction. I believe those roles should be interchangeable. . .in a perfect world, the best situation is the diversity of the mother/father team.

If you were single, would you rather date, mate, relate or wait? Why or why not:

Would I rather date, mate, relate or wait? My answer is “yes”. There should be an appropriate time for each. It’s important that, being single, I’m dating for the purpose of relating and vice versa. Mating doesn’t come with a specific time period; it comes when two mature adults agree & decide it’s right for them. . .hopefully, after a reasonable period of relating. Waiting is good for an emotional and physical refractory period. I don’t believe that “waiting” is good for ceasing. . .

What is one piece of advice you’d give right before he/she says I do:
“Don’t say ‘I do’ during the emotional moment.” If both of you haven’t had time to discuss the possibility of marriage, don’t feel pressured to give the obligatory “YES” because your partner asks you to marry them. It’s like when your partner says “I love you” and they wait for you to say the same. Take time to determine if it’s really time to make that major emotional, physical, mental, & spiritual change in your relationship with self and your partner.

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