Its Not About You

 I was one of millions who watched the premiere of the Oprah Life Class on the OWN network & I learned so much from the show. Every person who watches the series will walk away with their own lesson as it applies to their own lives, but here’s what I received from the class. The premiere topic of the show was “The False Power of the Ego”.. One thing Oprah said that stood out to me was “Operating out of ego, means that you’re operating of of FEAR.. You are not the thoughts in your head” FEAR stands for (False Evidence Appearing Real). FEAR can block us from greatness & stop us from fulfilling our full potential in life. Sometimes FEAR fills our mind with thoughts of insecurity & doubt. Oprah spoke about those thoughts of fear, and identified it as the ego. Your ego will fill your mind with thoughts of fear and make you believe that you are not good enough. The ego makes you concerned about what other people will think, so you second guess yourself. Pushing past your FEAR, or your ego means that you are tapping into your TRUE self. Your TRUE self is who God created you to be. Your TRUE self is the brilliance of your gifts & talents.. and it’s important to make the distinction between your TRUE self & your ego.

I have a personal story to share with you. A while back, when I had the vision for “Born For Greatness” & began building the company, I had fear and doubt. My ego told me things like “what if no one is interested in your business?” or “what if your business doesn’t become as successful as you think it will?”. During that time, my business coach (Darnyelle A. Jervey) said something to me that forever shifted my mindset. She said “It’s not about you!”. And she was right! The vision of “Born For Greatness” was to reach children & help them to recognize the greatness within themselves. So I had to step out of the way by pushing my ego to the side.. because it wasn’t about me .. and it wasn’t about what other people would think or say about me. It was about sharing my God given gifts & talents with the world to uplift others!

So remember that as you move forward on your path to greatness.. Don’t let your ego tell you lies.. and remember that FEAR is only, False Evidence Appearing Real. You have something GREAT to share with the world! Remember that your TRUE self is Born For Greatness!

Here is the link to Oprah’s Life Class, if you want to follow the course: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/oprahs-lifeclass.html

Tamara Shirer is one of BOND Inc's contributing writer. Tamara is also the founder & CEO of, Born For Greatness Youth Empowerment Resources. Prior to that, she spent 11 years working as a Child/Adolescent Social Worker & School Counselor. For more information about Born For Greatness Youth Empowerment Resources, visit: www.BFG-youth.com

5 Things Adults Can Do to Inspire The Youth ~ Asia W.

Teens don’t always want encouragement or inspiration.  Often times we wish to be completely independent, going forward with our own “superior wisdom”.   Nevertheless, we still require guidance from adults we can look up to and appreciate as role models.  This doesn’t always mean that adults have to do some type of heroic act to inspire us.  It can be as simple as the following points.

1.  Believe in us. Praise us if you want to build our self- confidence. Teens that lack a dream may be overwhelmed with life and unable to motivate themselves. Encourage us to explore things we’re good at and build our self-esteem. When we believe in ourselves, we'll be inspired to try new things.

2. Help us make decisions. We often beg for independence, but that doesn't mean we want the responsibility of making major life decisions on our own. Stay connected with us and help us when we need you (though we may not always approach you directly with problems) Teach us problem solving and brainstorming techniques along the way.

At the same time…

3.  Give us choices so we feel empowered. With parents and teachers telling us what to do, we can sometimes feel powerless in our own lives. Give us options and let us make some choices on our own. As long as our decisions aren’t going to severely damage ourselves or others, allow us to make mistakes; it helps us feel empowered and inspired.

4. Encourage us to have our own interests and dreams. Take the time to listen to us. What you have mapped out for us may not always be the path we’ve chosen to take. Find out what makes us excited and what makes our eyes light up. Encourage us to build these interests into an attainable dream.

5. Help us set a goal. This could be anything from passing a test to starting a career. Teach us to enjoy the little achievements along the way. Attaining goals makes people feel proud and gives them the courage to try new things; teens are no exception.

These few points will encourage us to respect your wisdom.  By simply respecting a teen as a person and not always putting them down, you can inspire them to do great things.

Asia is a student in the Born For Greatness Youth Writers class: www.BFG-youth.com

This Week's Spotlight~Tamara Shirer: She Loves The Kids

One of Tamara Shirer’s favorite quotes is from the late actress Beah Richards, and it is “The World You Want To Live In Needs You To Create It”. Tamara takes that quote to heart and she is making every effort to create the world she wants to live in by empowering & uplifting the youth. Tamara spent 11 years as a Child/Adolescent Social Worker & School Counselor, and she is now the founder and CEO of Born For Greatness Youth Empowerment Resources, www.BFG-youth.com . Through the Born For Greatness company, Tamara creates products & programs geared towards building confidence in children & putting them on a path to success. This summer, Tamara hosted the Born For Greatness Youth Writers program to cultivate the gifts in children who have a passion for writing & show them how to become successful through their gift. In addition to teaching the students how to become better writers, Tamara also taught them how to get their work published. This summer 7 articles from students in the Born For Greatness Youth Writers class were published in various online & print magazines. Tamara is currently working on getting a book published with a collection of writing from the students in the program. The book is entitled “We Are Not A Lost Cause: The Youth Speak!” In addition to the Youth Writers program, Tamara also facilitates youth empowerment workshops & leadership classes.

My Greatest Accomplishment to date has been:

Making a positive impact in the lives of many children.

The most challenging thing I ever experienced is:

Stepping out on faith and resigning from my job to dedicate my time & energy into building Born For Greatness Youth Empowerment Resources. However I had to do it because I truly believed that I could serve the world in a big way & and make a difference through the Born For Greatness company.

Most Valuable Lesson(s): 

Always follow your instinct. I believe that your instinct or gut feeling is God’s channel of communication to you. I’ve learned that you can never go wrong by following your instinct, because once you do, God will take the lead and surprise you in miraculous ways.

Final Remarks

For more information about Born For Greatness Youth Empowerment Resources visit: www.BFG-youth.com

Follow us on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/BornForGreatness

Follow us on Twitter: www.Twitter.com/bfgyouth

BONDInc Spotlight features ordinary African American women from all over who are doing extra-ordinary things.  If you or anyone you know would like to be featured, send your requests for more information to iambondinc@gmail.com.

The Top 3 Ways To Help Your Child Have A Successful School Year

Be A Proactive Parent: Children with proactive parents are more likely to excel academically. So what does it mean to be a proactive parent? Well, you are either a proactive or reactive parent. Taking a proactive approach to your child’s education means that you are not waiting until the report card conference to find out how your child is doing. You are actively involved throughout the school year, and you are actively inquiring about your child’s performance in the classroom.

Have you ever experienced a situation when there was a problem at your child’s school and you asked “Why am I just hearing about this?” or “Why didn’t I know this was going on?” If so, then you were reactive in that moment. I’m sure once the issue was brought to your attention, you reacted immediately to resolve the problem. However, by the time you heard about the situation it may have escalated into a major issue.

You don’t want to wait until the report card conference to check up on your child’s performance because the report card conferences are often 3 to 4 months into the school year. So if your child is having some type of problem in school, you definitely don’t want to wait 3 to 4 months to hear about it. It’s best to nip it in the bud as soon as the problem begins.

So how do you become a proactive parent, especially if you have a busy work schedule? Well, simply sending an e-mail to your child’s teacher is a great way to stay in the loop. If the teacher does not send home weekly or bi-weekly reports, I suggest sending an e-mail to your child’s teacher every other week to inquire about your child’s academic performance. You also want to inquire about any behavioral or social concerns.

Create A Goal Plan With Your Child: Let’s say that you are about to take a road trip, but you don’t have a destination in mind. Without a destination who knows where you’ll end up. The same concept applies to academic success. If your child doesn’t have a goal to work towards, who knows what grades your child will receive? This is why I suggest sitting down with your child at the beginning of the school year to discuss goals. Speak with your child about the subjects he/she is taking and ask your child what grades he/she would like to receive in each subject.

So let’s get back to the road trip. Now you have a destination in mind. If you’ve never been there before, how will you know how to reach your destination? Maybe you can use a GPS. So what does the GPS do? It gives you step by step instructions on how to reach your destination. If you want to see your child reach his/her goals you will need to sit down with your child and discuss step by step instructions on how to reach those goals; such as determining how many hours your child needs to study for each subject per week. Anyone can set goals, but not everyone will reach their goals. The ones who reach their goals are the ones who implement the GPS concept and outline the steps needed to reach their destination (goals).

Identify Your Child’s Learning Style: So what is your child learning style? Not all children learn the same way, so knowing your child’s learning style will enable you to help your child excel academically by implementing strategies to support your child’s learning style. There are a variety of learning styles that can be condensed into 3 basic categories: 1) Visual 2) Auditory 3) Kinesthetic.  I encourage you to discuss the 3 learning styles with your child to determine what learning style suits your child best.

Visual learners comprehend and retain information by seeing it. Visual learners remember information by capturing words and pictures in their minds. If your child is a visual learner, you can support your child by getting flash cards, purchasing educational DVD’s, getting highlighters for your child to color code his/her notes, etc.

Auditory learners comprehend and retain information by hearing it. If your child is an auditory learner, you can support him/her by purchasing an audio recorder. Your child can read class notes into the audio recorder and play it back as a study technique. If your child is not too old (or thinks he/she is too cool for this) you can even create songs to help your child remember the information.

Kinesthetic learners are “hands on”. If your child is a kinesthetic learner he/she comprehends and retains information when engaged in physical activity such as science lab. At home you can support your kinesthetic learner by creating teachable moments through every day activities. For example, you can teach your child about measurements while cooking. Supporting your kinesthetic learner will require some creativity.

For more great tips to help your child have a successful school year, visit: www.BFG-youth.com/school

By: Tamara Shirer