Its Not About You

 I was one of millions who watched the premiere of the Oprah Life Class on the OWN network & I learned so much from the show. Every person who watches the series will walk away with their own lesson as it applies to their own lives, but here’s what I received from the class. The premiere topic of the show was “The False Power of the Ego”.. One thing Oprah said that stood out to me was “Operating out of ego, means that you’re operating of of FEAR.. You are not the thoughts in your head” FEAR stands for (False Evidence Appearing Real). FEAR can block us from greatness & stop us from fulfilling our full potential in life. Sometimes FEAR fills our mind with thoughts of insecurity & doubt. Oprah spoke about those thoughts of fear, and identified it as the ego. Your ego will fill your mind with thoughts of fear and make you believe that you are not good enough. The ego makes you concerned about what other people will think, so you second guess yourself. Pushing past your FEAR, or your ego means that you are tapping into your TRUE self. Your TRUE self is who God created you to be. Your TRUE self is the brilliance of your gifts & talents.. and it’s important to make the distinction between your TRUE self & your ego.

I have a personal story to share with you. A while back, when I had the vision for “Born For Greatness” & began building the company, I had fear and doubt. My ego told me things like “what if no one is interested in your business?” or “what if your business doesn’t become as successful as you think it will?”. During that time, my business coach (Darnyelle A. Jervey) said something to me that forever shifted my mindset. She said “It’s not about you!”. And she was right! The vision of “Born For Greatness” was to reach children & help them to recognize the greatness within themselves. So I had to step out of the way by pushing my ego to the side.. because it wasn’t about me .. and it wasn’t about what other people would think or say about me. It was about sharing my God given gifts & talents with the world to uplift others!

So remember that as you move forward on your path to greatness.. Don’t let your ego tell you lies.. and remember that FEAR is only, False Evidence Appearing Real. You have something GREAT to share with the world! Remember that your TRUE self is Born For Greatness!

Here is the link to Oprah’s Life Class, if you want to follow the course: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/oprahs-lifeclass.html

Tamara Shirer is one of BOND Inc's contributing writer. Tamara is also the founder & CEO of, Born For Greatness Youth Empowerment Resources. Prior to that, she spent 11 years working as a Child/Adolescent Social Worker & School Counselor. For more information about Born For Greatness Youth Empowerment Resources, visit: www.BFG-youth.com

A Natural Girl Living In A Synthetic World: A 14 Year Old Speaks About “Going Natural

When I walk into a room, I get stares. Not because of my friendly smile, my confident stride, or even the crazy outfit I may be wearing. At the age of 14, I get attention from both children & adults because of my hair. My long, sun-streaked locs, sprouting from my head like a waterfall. They attract attention everywhere I go, either leaving a trail of compliments from people who appreciate their beauty, or insensitive comments from those who don’t understand. The ones who appreciate my hair are usually African American adults.  They compliment my locs and constantly ask me questions about how long I’ve had my locs and who does my hair. Then there’s the other side of the spectrum; the side full of uninformed and insensitive people. These people find my hair to be strange and dirty instead of exotic and beautiful. They’re usually parents of my Caucasian friends who don’t understand the culture or the style of locs. I try not to take it personal though because I know that it’s only their lack of understanding that makes them judgmental.

Speaking of judgment, adults aren’t the only ones who are cruel. I am also misunderstood, teased or criticized by my peers, for my hair.  A common misconception people have about me is that my “afro centric “ look means that I have mostly Black friends at school and in my neighborhood. The exact opposite is true though. In fact, most of my good friends are from other ethnicities, because the Black kids are the ones usually teasing me. My friends from other ethnic groups tend to be a bit more respectful when it comes to my hair and will ask any questions they may have in a polite manner. However, the Black kids at my school tease me about my locs and call me names like “Bob Marley” and “Cheeto head.” They also tell me to cut my locks and get a perm, weave, or extensions to look “normal” and fit in with everyone else. It’s tragic that the world has brainwashed these children to disrespect their own culture, and not appreciate the beauty of their own natural hair.

It hurts when people tell me to “get rid of my hair”, meaning that I should perm it or get a weave. Well that’s not going to happen because I love my hair and it’s a huge part of me. Not only does my hair extend down my back, but it extends back many years into my heritage as an African-American lady. During slavery, the name of the style “dread locks” originated from slave masters using the term “dreadful locks.” There’s nothing “dreadful’ about it to me, so I wear my hair locked proudly.

By: Briana Powell

Briana Powell is a student in the Born For Greatness Youth Writers class: www.BFG-youth.com

5 Things Adults Can Do to Inspire The Youth ~ Asia W.

Teens don’t always want encouragement or inspiration.  Often times we wish to be completely independent, going forward with our own “superior wisdom”.   Nevertheless, we still require guidance from adults we can look up to and appreciate as role models.  This doesn’t always mean that adults have to do some type of heroic act to inspire us.  It can be as simple as the following points.

1.  Believe in us. Praise us if you want to build our self- confidence. Teens that lack a dream may be overwhelmed with life and unable to motivate themselves. Encourage us to explore things we’re good at and build our self-esteem. When we believe in ourselves, we'll be inspired to try new things.

2. Help us make decisions. We often beg for independence, but that doesn't mean we want the responsibility of making major life decisions on our own. Stay connected with us and help us when we need you (though we may not always approach you directly with problems) Teach us problem solving and brainstorming techniques along the way.

At the same time…

3.  Give us choices so we feel empowered. With parents and teachers telling us what to do, we can sometimes feel powerless in our own lives. Give us options and let us make some choices on our own. As long as our decisions aren’t going to severely damage ourselves or others, allow us to make mistakes; it helps us feel empowered and inspired.

4. Encourage us to have our own interests and dreams. Take the time to listen to us. What you have mapped out for us may not always be the path we’ve chosen to take. Find out what makes us excited and what makes our eyes light up. Encourage us to build these interests into an attainable dream.

5. Help us set a goal. This could be anything from passing a test to starting a career. Teach us to enjoy the little achievements along the way. Attaining goals makes people feel proud and gives them the courage to try new things; teens are no exception.

These few points will encourage us to respect your wisdom.  By simply respecting a teen as a person and not always putting them down, you can inspire them to do great things.

Asia is a student in the Born For Greatness Youth Writers class: www.BFG-youth.com

This Week's Spotlight~Tamara Shirer: She Loves The Kids

One of Tamara Shirer’s favorite quotes is from the late actress Beah Richards, and it is “The World You Want To Live In Needs You To Create It”. Tamara takes that quote to heart and she is making every effort to create the world she wants to live in by empowering & uplifting the youth. Tamara spent 11 years as a Child/Adolescent Social Worker & School Counselor, and she is now the founder and CEO of Born For Greatness Youth Empowerment Resources, www.BFG-youth.com . Through the Born For Greatness company, Tamara creates products & programs geared towards building confidence in children & putting them on a path to success. This summer, Tamara hosted the Born For Greatness Youth Writers program to cultivate the gifts in children who have a passion for writing & show them how to become successful through their gift. In addition to teaching the students how to become better writers, Tamara also taught them how to get their work published. This summer 7 articles from students in the Born For Greatness Youth Writers class were published in various online & print magazines. Tamara is currently working on getting a book published with a collection of writing from the students in the program. The book is entitled “We Are Not A Lost Cause: The Youth Speak!” In addition to the Youth Writers program, Tamara also facilitates youth empowerment workshops & leadership classes.

My Greatest Accomplishment to date has been:

Making a positive impact in the lives of many children.

The most challenging thing I ever experienced is:

Stepping out on faith and resigning from my job to dedicate my time & energy into building Born For Greatness Youth Empowerment Resources. However I had to do it because I truly believed that I could serve the world in a big way & and make a difference through the Born For Greatness company.

Most Valuable Lesson(s): 

Always follow your instinct. I believe that your instinct or gut feeling is God’s channel of communication to you. I’ve learned that you can never go wrong by following your instinct, because once you do, God will take the lead and surprise you in miraculous ways.

Final Remarks

For more information about Born For Greatness Youth Empowerment Resources visit: www.BFG-youth.com

Follow us on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/BornForGreatness

Follow us on Twitter: www.Twitter.com/bfgyouth

BONDInc Spotlight features ordinary African American women from all over who are doing extra-ordinary things.  If you or anyone you know would like to be featured, send your requests for more information to iambondinc@gmail.com.