October Computer Love Experience Series~ "To Each's Own"

"Is online dating for me? Will I be labeled as desperate or needy? Will others think something’s wrong with me or wonder why I’ve resorted to finding companionship via the World Wide Web? I can just hear them now saying this chick must be unattractive, grossly overweight with a trillion kids with a billion different baby daddies. Something has got to be wrong with me. Why else would an attractive woman want to sit in front of a computer all night hoping to strike a goldmine by meeting her own personal Denzel Washington.”

These are just a few of the many stereotypical questions and comments that whirl through a number of people’s minds as they turn their noses up at countless women who try their hands at online dating. And if truth be told these very questions ring true even for women who are online themselves trying to connect with her “Do Right Man”.

Yeah, yeah, we know, we know there are a number of online dating disaster stories. From women thinking they were going to meet a Shamar Moore look a-like only to sit disgustedly across the restaurant’s table with an Elmer Fudd look -alike. Or what about the stories of countless women who had to pay for the first and would be last date because the guy conveniently pulled “I forgot my wallet at home” punk move. Not to mention she had to drive him home because his mama dropped him off for their first face to face encounter.

While there are countless stories of online dating blunders there are just as much if not more online dating success stories. One prime example Ericka, 41 from Albany, NY who decided to try online dating. Ericka quickly became bored and tired of the club and bars scene so she decided to spice her life up a bit. Dabbling with online dating was the perfect way for her to try something new. AOL’s chat rooms would be where Ericka would spend much of her time testing the online dating waters.  Ericka like most were a bit hesitant to go the online route.  She wondered what others would think of her decision and thought the guys she was going to meet where either crazy or had criminal backgrounds a mile long.

When asked what this whole ordeal has taught her she says that this experience has taught her patience and when the time is right the time will be just right for women to meet that special someone. She does however caution women who are contemplating online dating not to give too much of their personal information. She advises women to fully get to know a person before deciding to jump into anything serious. She also shares that a woman should not limit herself by focusing on just one man at a time. She feels it’s perfectly OK to see other people until both you and that special someone is ready to take the friendship to the next level.

While Ericka admits that dating online was a long and frustrating process, in the end it was all worth it.  Ericka just celebrated her third year anniversary with her husband whom she met online. Ericka shares,

“When I met my now husband, we chatted online for a few hours. He asked if he could call so I gave him my cell phone number.  We spoke 7 hours that night. For an entire week we spoke on average 3-4 hours a night talking about our day.  Finally he asked if we could meet and I agreed.  To be safe I decided to meet him at a club. We danced and had a good time that we did it again the next night.  I never chatted with a guy that long, so when we did meet; it was as if I knew him for years.

Ericka leaves others with this last piece of advice.

“The man of your dreams is out there, you just have to put aside all the drama and let God lead you; that is what I did”.