Have you ever met a person and only after a brief interaction you say to yourself "I don't know what it is about them but I sure do like them" or "She is one cool chick". Well that's exactly how you’d feel once Nikki Anarado has graced your presence. She’s is one person that you'd be mad that your paths hadn't crossed because she's such a likeable person. She’s raw but real. She exudes a rawness that you don’t find too often today. Her realness comes from a place of personal experience, through the trials and errors of life. She’s not afraid to share herself with you, the good, the bad, the ugly and the indifferent. Her attitude is one of ” take whatever it is that I’ve shared with you and if it applies to you or helps you in anyway “Great I’m glad I was able to help and when it doesn’t “Oh well at least I tried”. She’s not only willing to share herself but she wants you to share your experiences so that she too can learn from you.
Nikki knows a thing or two about relationships, she’s the facilitator of an online Relationships Forum that is by invitation only. Each day a member will post a relationship question and the forum members will add their two cents on the topic. The discussions get rather intense that it’s almost impossible for one not to want to take part but shame on you if you don’t. Nikki’s motto is if you’re not willing to put yourself out there or take part in the online discussion like the rest are willing to, you will quickly find yourself DELETED…PLAIN & SIMPLE.
I introduce to some and present to others none other than Ms. Nikki Anarado.
BOND Girl:Hi Nikki, welcome and thank you for your willingness to take part in the interview. So Nikki tell me a little bit about yourself?
Nikki Anarado: Even though I am a very confident woman, I don’t broadcast it or brag about what I think makes me a great person. If people really want to know about me, they will ask. And when they ask, I will share, so here it goes...
I am 32 year old single mom (single for 4 years, mom of one girl for 10 yrs). I am a first generation African-American (parents are Nigerian). I’ve never been married. I lived with my daughter’s father for the first 6 years of her life. And (by choice), I have not been in a serious relationship since then (4 years ago).
At this stage of my life, I know what I want out of a relationship and I am willing give all that I expect to get and I’m willing to wait for someone who values relationships as much as I do. I have NO issues being single, I don’t buy into the stigma that is associated with it.
Although I know I am not the most attractive woman around, despite this, I am confident in my womanhood and during my single years have always been able to have companionship when its needed it (just as all women should). I have great friends, a loving family, fulfilling career, working on my degree and working towards purchasing my first home. I know that I am a good person and I do well for myself. I have worked very hard to get what I have and a testament of that is while working in the private sector I have gained the respect of my colleagues and superiors, I have been promoted 3 times which doubled my income all without a degree and all within 6 yrs.
Although I may be proud of my little accomplishments (which might not be much for some people, and that’s ok), I do have insecurities like you do and everyone else does. I have done some soul-searching during these 4 years, I now have a deeper understanding of what those insecurities are and how they effected my past relationships. All these aforementioned experiences have helped me learn, mature and become a more confident and whole person. Now, I know who I am and am completely comfortable in my own skin.
I am a VERY opinionated, passionate, and outspoken person, I am not easily swayed by other’s opinion just because their views seem more popular. Debating is a hobby of mine, I love doing it! I periodically host relationship discussion events and I have a Relationship Forum group on Facebook that it very active daily. My personal goal in my own efforts is that I honestly want to help people, I recognize that these conversations are extremely vital to the growth and stability of our black families and I want to use my talents to contribute to this.
BOND Girl: What are your current thoughts of father’s being in the home?
Nikki Anarado: I and many of my female counterparts recognize the importance of fathers in the household, the question is, do enough men recognize this?
BOND Girl: Was there anything significant in your life that has affected the way you view love?
Nikki Anarado: Yes, initially my first experience with love was “puppy love” in high school. He ended the relationship with me so that he could have sex with his ex. Since I wanted to wait until I was older this REALLY effected the way I view men and convinced me that they primarily want sex above any other attribute that I could offer. This solidified my desire to wait to have sex.
When I got older I became hardened to the idea of falling in love and completely resisted it each time I was presented with it. I haven’t been ready to actually fully feel love until just recently. Avoiding the possibility of experiencing a heart break has been my #1 priority when it came to my love life until now. I am currently dating someone who I hope to someday get serious with, only time will tell.
BOND Girl: Do you think men are taking the time to really know the opposite sex? What advice would you give men regarding women?
Nikki Anarado: Men should have their own mind and not allow other men to negatively influence their behavior and their outlook on women. Men should understand that all women are not the same and that we as people are simply a product of our environment and experiences so we should take more time to get to know each other and understand why we think the way we think, feel the way we feel and love the way we love. Men should be more comfortable in openly admitting that they need and want companionship and love from a woman. Men should work harder at helping women be more secure in their relationship. If your woman is complaining about something, take it into consideration and make sure that she understands that you are trying.
BOND Girl: What are you hoping that guest will be able to walk away with?
Nikki Anarado: A deeper understanding of the opposite sex and the importance of each of our roles in the household and in relationships. I would love for everyone to walk away with a new approach to how they handle their own relationship and new tools they can actively use to improve their relationships.
BOND Girl: Thank you Nikki and I look forward to working closely with you in the upcoming weeks. To see Ms. Nikki in action be sure to join her July 29th at the “Can We Talk-Part II Panel Discussion where she along with David Marcus will be facilitating such an enriching discussion.