Monday, June 6, 2011

Interview with David Marcus

It’s not often that you meet quality people who are passionate about being brutally honest regarding this thing called “LOVE”. Noted author David Marcus with his much anticipated book “Ouch This May Hurt” is just that kind of person. David has a special way of talking “LOVE”; the trials, the tribulations, the good, the bad, the ups and the downs that come with the territory. What I find so great about David is that he refuses to take sides. He’ll let you know whether male or female when you’re right and when you’re wrong. He does it in such a way that it’s not offensive but rather makes one think and take note. Mr. Marcus first graced our presence as the male moderator during the first “Can We Talk-Panel Discussion. He’s so graciously agreed to join us once again for the “Can We Talk Part II” taking place July 29th.

I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Mr. Marcus.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to some and introduce to others Mr. David Marcus.

BOND Girl: Hi David, Tell me a little bit about yourself?

David Marcus: I’m going to start off by telling you what I’m not. I am not a relationship expert. I believe there is no such thing. Relationships are all about what works for two individuals so what works for each pair can’t be taught and might differ.  The most helpful thing is to gain an understanding about the opposite gender and from there you can find the one that works for you.
Now with that out of the way I do believe I’m very insightful and am just flat out real. I say the things your man thinks but won’t say to you. I feel that honesty is lost and bullsh*t is so common you can smell it as soon as you step outside. I intend to bridge the gap between the barbershop and the beauty salon. I believe that a lot of the misunderstanding between men and women comes from all of the patronizing over the years and subjects we tip toe around. How can we come up with a solution if we don’t deal with the Real issues and real wants and needs of each gender?

Over the years I have helped several of my female friends, exes, internet buddies and random women whenever a conversation of men/women dialogue comes up. I have even helped my mom and dad over the years starting at around 8 years old. I always had this knack for observing and understanding people. My mother told me at a young age that I amazed her with my gift of discernment and that I was wise beyond my years. I’ve had people who might have disagreed initially but always come back to me and say they might have not received it right away because I’m brutally honest but I was absolutely right about their situation. One of my closest male friends calls me Hitch like Will Smith in the movie. I just feel like how can you help anyone by patronizing them but you can always help someone with the truth no matter how much it hurts eventually it will be respected. Doctors give you what you need heal you not what you want!
I am the guy everyone chooses to talk to or the voice of reason for friends, family and pretty much anyone he encountered. Now I decided to share my gift to the world.

BOND Girl: What are your current thoughts on fathers in the home?

David Marcus: Fathers are important to the household just as mothers are. They each play an important role for development. I hate that we grow up in a world that has adopted the fact that I don’t need a man; I can raise this child by myself. Yes you can but it is not meant to be that way. Fathers bring stability to the household in my opinion. Men are not emotional creatures so they normally don’t make a lot of irrational decisions. They can normally maintain level headed through the highs and lows. As much as I think it’s important for  fathers to be in the household to teach boys how to become men I also believe they are just as important to teaching girls how to become women. Not in a sense of how to cross your legs or to put on your makeup but how to treat and coexist with men. Fathers are important to teach girls what is unattractive to men and what can run them away. They can also teach them how to walk that line of being independent yet still be submissive or a lady. He can give his daughters far more understanding of men then a woman ever can. Last but not least he shows her how a woman is supposed to be treated and it starts by how he treats his wife. That example needs to be set because children do mirror our behavior more often than we think. If children grow up in dysfunction subconsciously they will think its ok or the norm.

BOND Girl: Was there anything significant in your life that has affected the way you view love?

     David Marcus: Two things, my parents and my first love.
My parents were married young and it was rocky.  It’s funny but they actually got married two times. Married for 13 years divorced for 3 and remarried again. They loved each other but just couldn’t seem to get along and I think it was more of just immaturity than them not having what it takes to work. One thing I took from them though is how important it is to communicate and my mother drilled in me how never to take advantage of a woman’s love for you. My father always says he was a great father but terrible husband. I love his honesty because now I understand as a man it’s a lot of compromise and selflessness in relationships and if you truly love someone. I am married today and I pray that I don’t become a statistic but I try to maintain that open line of communication in my household because I want to work but also realize it’s not easy. Because of the affect my parent’s divorce had on me I told myself I was never getting married unless I found the woman that I couldn’t live without.

Now my first love affected the way I view love in a different way. She is the one that taught me what unconditional love was to actually have in a relationship and how good it felt to be a friend with your partner.  That relationship wasn’t uptight and super serious like most are once love enters it was just fun and really felt like she was one of my buddies and the plus was romance. I was too young to appreciate it but that was the only time I can honestly say I had my heart broken. I really let my mother down because I didn’t only take advantage I just flat out took this girls love for me for granted.  Long story short she left me and she really should have. I actually told her I understood, which most men aren’t man enough to say. I was ashamed of how I treated her and my lack of attention just because I thought I was the man and the ladies loved me. What I noticed once she was gone is that none of the ladies mattered only she did. She was the one that had my heart.  I vowed to myself that if I ever had a chance at relationship that honest, that much fun and that real that I would marry that woman because I notice how rare it is. Thank God he gave me a second chance upgraded. This time around I pray that it works but it will not fail because I didn’t let this woman know that she is important to me. My first love gave me a whole new respect for what love was and I never wanted to break another heart knowing how heartbreak felt.

BOND Girl: Do you really think women are taking the time to get to know the opposite sex? What advice would you give women regarding men?

David Marcus: I think they are just starting to take the time to but a lot of lost time needs to be made up. Somehow more than often men’s needs are disregarded and that has a lot to do with the population of mistresses.   The common theme in the mistress is she listens and aims to please because she wants to replace you. I always say, why let the mistress win? You can listen to your man and have fun with him just like she can. Actually he prefers you, which is why you are the one in a relationship with him. This frustrates me so much I decided to write a book about it that should be coming out this fall.

I want to wrap this by saying my inspiration for this book is the perception that women have of men in the world we live in today on what it takes to please us and their misconception of why we do the things that we do. I feel like men are somewhat misunderstood just because of the fact that we operate differently than women and it doesn’t always mean that we are always wrong. Men have to take the time to understand women because we are drilled from childhood to adulthood on how to handle a women’s feelings but I just don’t think that women take the time to try to figure out the “WHY” when it comes to men. A lot of things that we need, like or want is totally disregarded because it’s a little too much for some women to handle so we mark it down as the man being wrong. That’s not so accurate. Even the fact that men seem to be sexually driven and need to have it when they want it they are labeled as pigs when the bible even talks about how the only way sex shouldn’t take place unless it’s mutual or one will be tempted by the evils of the world. I bet you didn’t know that and you didn’t care to know because it doesn’t concern the women as much. See women like to pick and choose or cut and paste what parts of the bible they want to highlight but that to me means that god even understands how he made us and warns us what might transpire from lack thereof. It’s in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. Look it e common theme in the mistress is she listens and aims to please because she wants to replace you. I always say, why let the mistress win? You can listen to your man and have fun with him just like she can. Actually he prefers you, which is why you are the one in a relationship with him.

BOND Girl: What do you hope that guest will be able to walk away with?

David Marcus: Understanding!!!!! Understanding breeds compromise and if what you understand/learn is important enough to you will aim to please with the right person for you. Anything you better understand how it works you are much better at operating with it.

BOND Girl: David, thank you for taking the time to do this interview and it was indeed a pleasure. I’m so looking forward to others seeing you in action in July. 

Stayed tuned for the interview with the "New Woman in Town"-Ms. Nikki Anarado.

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